Bengal Brawl I (Part Dos)

Recapping the Title Matches....

Tag Team Title Match: Champions Robert "Jumpy" Geathers/The Big Samoan Domata Peko v. Challengers Rudi "Hamstring" Johnson/Kenny "The Snake" Watson
Special Qualification: Tables, Ladders, & Chairs match

Recap: This one was a classic matchup of size and strength versus speed and agility. The challengers, Hamstring & The Snake, came out like a house afire. They jumped the champs early before the champs had a chance to even make it to the ring--taking the fight right to the champs. The challengers acheived a distinct advantage after playing some Con-chairto on both The Big Samoan and Jumpy. But the momentum turned when Hamstring set up a ladder and went for a tremendous flying dropkick on The Big Samoan, only to pull his hamstring (what else?) upon contacting the Big Samoan. The Snake tried to come to the rescue of his partner but was intercepted by Jumpy who put a defensive end belly-to-belly suplex on Snake. Jumpy then "jumped" to his other position, and put the linebacker spear on Snake. After the champs returned the favor by playing con-chairto on the challengers, they pulled the lifeless challengers back to the ring. Setting up tables in the corners of the ring, they prepared to put the challengers out of their misery with spears through the tables. But suddenly The Evil Genius Chuck Bresnahan's music began to play, and the Evil Genius himself made his way to the ring with a playbook in hand. Using the playbook, he convinced the champs that the spear through the tables was not the way to finish the challengers off. Instead, he convinced the champs to utilize the splash move off the ladders. Unfortunately, as the champs each jumped off their respective ladders, the challengers rolled away at the last moment. To add insult to injury, the challengers threw down the ladders on top of the champs' heads as they lay motionless on the canvas. The champs never recovered as both Snake and Hamstring got the three count. As the new champions exited, Evil Genius dressed down the champs for not executing the gameplan appropriately. This infuriated the now-former champs, who both choke-slammed Evil Genius Bresnahan, The Big Samoan applied the tombstone piledriver, then both repeatedly took turns laying chair shots to Bresnahan's cabeza. This now explains why every defensive scheme for the last five weeks from the Bengals has looked like it came from a mentally disabled human being. It has. Evil Genius Bresnahan is.
Winner: Hamstring Johnson/The Snake Watson (New Champions) Hamstring out for next several weeks' worth of matches due to pulled hammy in this match.

Intercontinental Title Match: Champion Touchdown T.J. Houshmanzadeh v. Challenger The Lawbreaker Odell Thurman (w/special guest referee Commissioner Roger Goodell)
Special Qualification: No DQ Street Fight Match

Recap: This was a wild one! The two contenders battled all over PBS (Paul Brown Stadium). They went into the back tunnels of the stadium where Lawbreaker severely beat Touchdown T.J. with pipes that had been stacked in the alleyway. Touchdown T.J. fought back as they stumbled out into the concourse area, by using the dreaded Rumpke trash dumpster to his liking--smashing Lawbreaker's hands in the top repeatedly. Having no real authority for the first time in his short tenure as Commissioner, special guest referee Goodell followed the participants and cell phoned uniform violations to the head office in NYC. The match then spilled out into the endzone area. This area of the field being like a second home to Touchdown T.J., and Lawbreaker having no remembrance of what the endzone is, Touchdown took control of the match. Using a host of high-risk aerial moves (dropkicks, a shooting star press off the goal post crossbar, and even a flying body drop), Touchdown had Lawbreaker right where he wanted him in order to administer his finishing move: The Tornado Pony-Tail Twist. But Lawbreaker somehow avoided the Twist and countered with a cranium buster. He then pressed Touchdown T.J. high into the air and applied his own finishing move: The Illegal Breathalyzer. Commissioner Goodell immediately stepped in and announced that although the match was a no disqualification match, Lawbreaker had broken his contract to be reinstated by the BWE (Bengals Wrestling Entertainment), that was stipulated from his earlier suspension last year. Goodell immediately ripped up Lawbreakers contract, suspending him for another year, and since he was at that point no longer a BWE wrestler, Touchdown T.J. was awarded the victory and became the new Intercontinental Title Champion.
Winner: Touchdown T.J. Houshmanzadeh (New Champion)

Tomorrow, an entire post devoted to the epic World Heavyweight Championship Match between Chad "The Champ" Johnson and Golden Boy Carson Palmer.