Bengals Brawl I

Inspired by Chester Taylor and Erasmus James' exploits in the Vikings locker room last week, the Bengals devised a way to air out their chemistry issues.

BENGALS BRAWL I
Location: Paul Brown Stadium

UNDERCARD

Match 1: Big Willie Anderson v. Levi "Let 'em By" Jones in a Body Slam Match
Review: As Let 'em By stood in the ring at the 50-yard line of PBS, Big Willie's entrance music began to play. But no Big Willie. The music replayed. Still no Willie. Finally after replaying the music five times, Big Willie appeared. But what's this? He has an air cast on his ankle and he is limping to the ring. It is revealed that Big Willie has disappeared to have a "procedure" done on his ankle in Atlanta. The "procedure" is never explained, but after discussing it with referee Chris Henry, who earlier in the day was notified by Comissioner Goodell that he could participate in team activities, just not matches until Bengals Bash VIII, it was deemed that the procedure is legal and the match is to occur. The bell rings and the agony begins. For what seems like days, Big Willie limps around the ring attempting to grab Let 'em By, but can't get a hold of him as Let 'em By is constantly employing his patented matador blocking technique (see Chiefs game for example). Suddenly, referee Henry trips Let 'em By allowing Big Willie to apply a giant splash move the renders Let 'em By useless. Big Willie picks up Let 'em By off the canvas and applies the giant body slam. Big Willie celebrates by leaning down and pulling a lifetime card for free burgers at his burger joint out of his air cast and paying off referee Henry for his services.
Winner: Big Willie Anderson

Match 2: Chris "The Crippled" Perry v. The Rook Kenny Irons in a Loser Goes on IR Match
Review: This was a brutal match between two up-and-coming stars of the BWE (Bengals Wrestling Entertainment). After getting off to slow starts, the pace began to pick up, eventually spilling out of the ring onto the field turf. Once on the turf, both men began slugging it out--trading vicious punches. Suddenly, The Crippled one took off in a 40-yard dash contest. The Rook, not to be outdone, took off after Crippled. The Rook, being younger and faster because he had never suffered an injury, caught Crippled 20 yards into the dash. He immediately applied the ankle lock to Crippled. But just as Crippled was about to tap out, The Rook made what can only be described as a rookie mistake. Referee Henry (hey! What else has he got to do) began counting out the participants, but was slow in the count seeing as he was using only one hand to count with because he was using his other hand to eat his burger from Big Willie's burger joint. Not wanting to be counted out, The Rook voluntarily let go of the ankle lock and returned to the ring, where he waited for Crippled to be counted out. But Crippled, being the veteran, mustered the courage to limp back the ring where the match continued. While The Rook had his back turned, Crippled snuck into the ring and grabbed The Rook from behind where he applied the Figure Four leg lock. The Rook hung on for as long as he could, but eventually tapped out under the excruciating pain.
Winner: Chris "The Crippled" Perry (suffered broken ankle from ankle lock, only on PUP)
Loser: The Rook Kenny Irons (suffered destroyed ACL from Figure Four, has to go on IR)



Main Event Title Matches Recapped Tomorrow....