Coach Kelly for President

Fall has finally arrived here in the Queen City--and rather abruptly from the feel of the weather.

Seeing as 2008 is an election year, this Fall means that the Presidential candidates are kicking their campaigns into high gear. After flipping through channels yesterday, and running across yet another insufferable debate (how many of those are there going to be anyhow?), I realized that I haven't even thought about the candidates.

So I asked myself this question: "Self, what do we think of these candidates?"

I immediately eliminated the ones I had never heard of in my life. If you are running for President and I haven't heard of you by now, you are either: a) doing a horrible job of campaigning or b) some type of weirdo looking for publicity (hello Ralph Nader). Either way, I'm not voting for you.

I still have no idea what Obama stands for, and what his plans for the U.S. are. However, if it involves Obama Girl from the YouTube clips, count me in. I don't care what they may be. Edwards has somehow managed to go from Vice Presidential candidate to completely irrelevant in a matter of one election cycle. Not easy to do. And the thought of voting for Hillary Clinton, and the baggage that comes with it, just made me puke a little in my mouth.

As for the other side. McCain doesn't seem to want to do anything but name--and then rename--the bus that he rides around in. Guiliani can't seem to do anything but say how great he was during the 911 crisis. Granted he did a great job. But Rudy, I don't want to vote for the guy who won't be usable unless catastrophic events occur, okay buddy? And Mr. Law and Order is on vaguely interesting from the sheer standpoint that he might slip into his character from the show and we would end up with the first ever Oval Office message from a president lounging in a giant leather chair while pounding down his third whiskey highball.

That's when it hit me: Brian Kelly for President.

Why not? He as all the qualifications if you look at:

1. The ability to turn a losing culture into a positive. He did it with a mediocre University of Cincinnati football team, where others had failed. I'm betting that he certainly could turn this crazy war we are involved into something positive. Don't you think changing the Baghdad surge into a spread offense attack would win the war within weeks?

2. He's a uniter AND a divider. In a matter of a few months he's managed to unite all the Bearcat fans, and divide out the city between Bearcat fans and the "Entitlers" known only as the scourge of the Earth (scarlet and grey beasts). I'm have no doubt that Kelly could work both sides of the aisle of Congress and get our Economy turned around.

3. He knows opportunity when he sees it. Look at the Bearcat's defense. It ranks 2nd in the country in interceptions. Seizing on the art of the takeaway is what this guy specializes in. You don't think he could campaign better than some of the current candidates? (that means you pretty boy Romney).

I could go on, but this brief list would quickly turn into a scroll. That is how much I believe in this movement. Coaches are true leaders. It's time we had one of the best in the White House.

Now. If we can only get 3CDC to realize this and show Bearcat games on the big screen on Fountain Square.